Say No So You Can Say Yes

Today is only my 12th day of life at the Estate and in this short amount of time an enormous amount of life has taken place. I recently started working at an outdoor gear store, bought a deep freezer and gun safe with my roommates, built 2 lofted beds, fraternity activities and intramurals have kicked into high gear, I have been connecting with friends who I didn't see all summer and somewhere in the midst of all of this flurry of activity I have an academic record to build. I was pondering the freedom that comes with age the other day and I think that it can be compared to a tightly tied shoe. As I have grown up from grade school through high school and now into college the laces on my shoes have become looser and looser, offering more and more freedom, but with freedom comes new adjustments. I am almost to the point in my life where I have the choice of whether I want to keep the shoes on or slip them off all together and see what walking barefoot feels like. It is a scary place to be in. Credit card bills are real, relationships are real, school matters more than it has in the past and I am seeing the weight that my actions today are going to have on tomorrow. I spent an hour on the phone with the cable company today trying to figure out why our bill was so high and once I figure that out I have to bring it to the attention of my roommates and reach an agreement about how to get paid back for various start up fees. I tell you this because it is easy to lose sight of things and forget whom our foundation is found in.

Our foundation is not in how well we please others, because there is not enough of you or me to go around to meet everyone else's needs and wants. I am learning to say no for the first time in my life. It's tough, because I really enjoy being needed, but I have had to come to terms with the reality that there is only so much time in the day and that when I never say no I cannot really say yes. "Simply let your yes be yes and your no, no; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." Matthew 5:37. Seems harsh doesn't it, saying that if we flake out and don't really mean yes when commit to something it is from the evil one. Why would Jesus put that in such harsh terms? Because when we over-commit we are limiting our God given potential to do the things that God has called us to. Saying no is definitely an act of faith. It puts us in a vulnerable place because people might not like us if we decline an offer they give us.

Matthew 7:24-27
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

When we over commit we are making the choice to build our house on the sand and that is what it feels like doesn't it. The
exterior structure of our life is all together, but with the wrong wind or even the wrong footing inside the house, everything could come crashing down. To build our house on the rock, we must constantly be in prayer, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Phil 4:6) Honestly, I have never really been good at constantly being in prayer, but when I think about it, I spend a lot of time managing my lists inside my head and those concerns could be much better managed by giving them to God. My challenge for myself and for anyone who finds life even just slightly overwhelming is to say yes and really mean it and to find the freedom of a house on solid rock.

Learning to Relax

I would never admit it, but I think that I enjoy being stressed. This realization came to me over the past week that I spent with my family relaxing in Florida. My summer has been packed between working at Pine Cove and then going almost straight into a pretty rigorous summer school schedule. Add building an epic lofted bed and furnishing a house and pretty quickly you can imagine how precious my free time has been this summer. I was wound so tight and my mind kept running back to Waco to make lists of things that I need to do and money that I needed to collect from my roommates that I had trouble fully enjoying and appreciating the beauty of my first day on the beach. After my mom saw me struggling to just sit on the beach she even said, "You really have trouble just doing nothing and relaxing don't you?"

Before I could relax under my umbrella and fully enjoy the cool ocean breeze I had to make an "on the go playlist" on my iPod that had an excess of 100 songs in the cue, way more than I could ever listen to in one sitting. I tell you that to give you a look into how check list driven I am, even on the beach. Our society values efficiency and productivity. Check lists are great and they keep my life organized, but there comes a point where productivity can become an idol. I often put my worth in how much I can accomplish or what I can scratch through on my to-do list. As Christians we are called to commit our work to the Lord, but we are not told to be workaholics. I guess that this is really an identity issue. Jesus loves us just as we are, not as we should be and he loves us no matter how much we accomplish. I think that if we are going to bring up committing our work to the Lord it is just as important to bring up one of the ten commandments, "honor the Sabbath day, keep it Holy."

How many of us actually do that? When was the last time you turned off your computer, put away the tools, forgot about the checklists for a day and simply enjoyed the moment you were in? It's scary and it is a huge act of faith. It says, "I trust that God is faithful and by taking this day and doing things that feed my soul, God is going to be active and in my lack of activity, He will provide." So maybe the reason that I have trouble relaxing is because I do not have much practice. Taking a Sabbath requires an act of faith and it is one that I need to adopt. Chick Fil A is the only national food chain that honors the Sabbath and although it seems that I am always craving one of their sandwiches on Sunday I respect their decision. Their profits are right on par with all of its competitors and because they are closed for one day a week, their employees stay fresher and their equipment lasts longer because they hit the off switch once a week. I think that to break my addiction to productivity I need to do the same and simply hit the off switch once a week and trust that God is going to provide.

Home

Home is a relative term. Obviously there is a house in Dallas where my family lives and a room where I laid my head for the first eighteen years of my life, but is home more than a house? I think so. After being in college for a year, Waco is beginning to feel more comfortable than Dallas and I am beginning to sleep better on my twin bed that my feet hang off of, lofted 5 feet in the air than my full size bed on Purdue. Do I feel more comfortable in Waco because I traded beautifully landscaped lawns on Beverly for front yards where I can park my truck or because in Waco I can't see a movie past 10 or because in Dallas there is not a vending machine in my living room? No. I am more at peace in Waco because there is a community of people here who love me and claim me as their own. Before I go on any farther, let me give a disclaimer, I have an unbelievable family and friends that will last a lifetime in Dallas, but the community that I have in Waco are the people who on a day to day basis are helping me grow into the Robert I am becoming. Those in my past have shaped me into who I am today. One of the big components of any community is shared experiences or surroundings. There are parts of the fabric of the school and student life here that cannot be explained, but are simply understood by those who live in this town like the taste of George's half price chicken friend steak or the stereotypes that surround the fraternities and sororities (I really just love wearing boots...KOT stereotype) or the simple appreciation for a slower pace of life in a city that pales in comparison to Dallas or Austin.

If home is a community of people who know and love you, can you have more than one home? I think so. When I worked at Pine Cove this summer, the staff and friends that I made knew me in one capacity, the guys I live with know me on a day to day basis and see college Robert; back home I have a different set of memories and expectations those around me have come to know. I don't think that this is a bad thing, but it can become confusing when you bounce from community to community and places that were always so familiar become less familiar. Some day I will graduate and Baylor will begin to feel less like home than it does right now, I will move somewhere and I will form another community who will continue to shape and mold me.

Through all the major scenery/life changes I have been experiencing over the past year the verse that I have clung to is Philippians 3:20 "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Our citizenship is in heaven, we can live in numerous places on this earth, but ultimately our identity and value is found in heaven with Christ, so if you are going to school for the first time this year and you feel uncomfortable, your citizenship is in heaven. If you just started a new job in a city that is unfamiliar, your citizenship is in heaven. If you are still living in the same house with your parents that you have always lived in, your citizenship is in heaven. With that in mind, begin this new school year with an open heart and mind to those around you and take everything in stride knowing that this place, wherever you are, is not it.