For Such A Time As This

It came as an email early on Tuesday morning. What a way to deliver the news. All I could do was lean back in my computer chair and rub my eyes. Wes’s dad had just passed away. I didn’t know what to do. My heart was shatter for the family who lost their son just a few years before. The pain they were dealing with was something that I couldn’t wrap my mind around. The funeral was set for Friday and after talking it over with my mom, I decided that I needed to be there. I lead an accountability group for Wes and his friends in high school and wanted to be able to support them through this tough time.

The funeral brought back hard memories of when another one of the students in Wes’s grade committed suicide; those were dark days, but I did my best to stand by them as they grieved. Death is hard. The service was beautiful. One of my favorite pastor’s talked about Wes’s dad and did a great job of helping those in attendance to remember the incredible man that he was. When the audience dismissed and everyone lined up to console the family, I looked around and began seeing all of the guys that I once met with on a weekly basis. I made the rounds and hugged each one tightly, making small talk about where they were going to school next year. There is never anything great to say at a funeral. The real answers to the standard small talk questions of how are you doing and what have you been up just don’t seem to have very pretty answers.

Driving back to Baylor that afternoon I thought about what a unique opportunity the Lord had given me. Throughout high school I had scattered the seed and been active in the lives of the guys who were at the funeral. Most of the time I spent with them I felt terribly insufficient. The Sunday afternoons when we got together often seemed like a waste of time, because I was only a few years older than them and the things I had to say did not stimulate the most captivating small group discussions.

Ephesians 3: 20 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to the power of his will to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen”

In the midst of my feelings of insufficiency and during the small group times that I felt like a failure, God was positioning me to respond to the email I received on Tuesday. He set my relationships up for his glory and he was doing more than I could ask for or imagine.

Don’t give up on the friendships with people who don’t know the Lord. Keep loving your enemies. Don’t get tired of doing what is good. We’re not seeing the whole picture and it will not be revealed to us until we are in heaven. Find peace knowing that we are only seeing a sliver of the picture and God is a much better painted than you or I.

Appreciating Who People Are Becoming

One of the hardest things about coming home for the holidays is that each time I exit the tollway at Lovers Lane and pull onto Purdue, I have grown and experienced things that have shaped my outlook and one way or another, I am not the same person and my friends, they're not the same either. Am I usually drastically different, no, but I've lived stories that my friends in college station and Norman haven't. My community is shaping me and my interactions with my friends and community at Baylor are something that no one can understand except those who are in the middle of it with me. It has taken me heading back to Dallas a couple of times over the past three semesters to begin to learn to appreciate my friends for who they are becoming. This means that I have to change my expectations and learn to listen to their stories and realize that the way that we view things might not be the exact same. My experience in my fraternity at Baylor, KOT, is going to be totally different than my friend Will's experience with Sig Ep in Norman and the things that I love about Baylor probably don't translate directly into Will's experiences at OU.

It is a hard lesson to wrap your head around because growing up with my best friends from HP we all did the same things with each other. All of our stories were woven together and we saw life the same way because for the most part our experiences were paralleled with one another. Learning to appreciate people for who they are becoming is key to maintaining friendships that you have had for years even after spending large spans of time apart.

I have been unbelievably blessed to walk shoulder to shoulder with men of great faith throughout high school and college and this is so important because our common bond is not something that is fleeting. Our stories don't have to sound the same because I know that at the heart of our friendships is Christ and the common love for Christ among a group of friends gives friendship more depth than any common hobbies or stories ever could. I am able to pick back up with the guys I did life with in high school so well because I know that at the end of the day we are brothers in Christ and our love for Him is what we built our friendship on.

I'm not encouraging you to watch your friends make destructive decisions and not get involved in their lives, but what I am encouraging you to do is to realize that no one is perfect and just because your friendship with someone doesn't feel exactly the same as it always has doesn't mean it can't still be something great. If we stop expecting people to complete us and make us totally satisfied and approach each day with more grace than criticism I think that we would be shocked at how much richer all of our relationships would be. For the group of friends you are doing with right now, on the daily, be intentional about building then up as brothers and sisters in Christ so that one day if you aren't roommates and the days of fraternity life seem like a lifetime ago, you will have a bond that is eternal because Jesus is forever.