Encouragement from Eminem and Freedom in Confession

I have been back from camp for a full 7 days now and I have been shocked by how easy it has been to slip back into my same sin struggles. I mentioned this in an early post, but as the week progressed I realized that I couldn't deal with my problems alone. One of the biggest areas that this comes into play for me is with lust. If you didn't grow up in the laptop generation or if you are a chick you probably can't relate to my struggle, but if you are in the same boat as I am then you know how unbelievably easy it is to wander while online. I'm checking my email, on facebook or youtubing and all of the sudden my wicked heart kicks into gear and I find myself somewhere online where the kingdom of God is not near, a place where I really don't want to be, but for some reason I consistently go back to. With this sin struggle I so often play the, "this is the last time" game, I throw down the "it won't be like this tomorrow" card and quite frankly on my own strength it is never the last time and it always happens tomorrow.

I went camping this past weekend and on the way out to the Ranch I just didn't feel like myself. The baggage of my sin was weighing me down and keeping from fully enjoying the moment so I leveled with one of my good friends, Robert Boone and just told him what was up. Together we worked through my struggle with maintaining my integrity while online. As I formed the words in my head to start that conversation my heart raced and even though we are really good friends and go way back it was still scary and humbling, but after we worked through things the anxious feelings were replaced by peace that can only be found in confessing your struggles. James 5:16 says "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

God is a God of restoration and wants to restore us to our full potential, but he cannot do his work in us if we keep our struggles bottled up inside. Find someone and confess your struggles to them no matter how dark or how scared you are. Ultimately our identity is in what God says we are worth and he says we are worth dying for. That's why he sent his son to this earth to hang on the cross for us. Maybe you are in the same boat as me and you need accountability and encouragement to maintain your integrity while you are online, maybe you error toward eating less than you should and when you compare yourself to others you want to stop eating, maybe you are in a relationship that is abusive or you have this unbearable guilt because you gave your purity away or maybe you feel like life has lost its purpose. Whatever it is God can handle it and he understands. Find someone to share your sin with. If not its going to be like that screeching sound coming from your engine. You try to drown it out with your stereo, but deep down you know something is wrong. Whatever it is, pull over, open up the hood and find someone to confess your struggle with. We are all broken people and need the love, support and accountability of others. As brothers and sisters in Christ we are called to bear one another's burdens and to take a stand, so in the words of Eminem

"I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road"

"And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now"

If you've never listened to secular music those lyrics are from Eminem. He's not a worship leader, but he speaks prophetically when he challenged us to walk the road together and to take stand, so break out of your cage, tear down the walls. Confess and find freedom.

Carpe the Kingdom

Towards the end of last semester I began embracing the "carpe college" mentality. Taking advantage of all the opportunities and freedoms that college affords is a great thing, but I allowed this mind set to seep in too far. It began translating as "College is all about me and I am going to do whatever I please." In other words, I began embracing selfishness and forgot my bigger purpose in life: to Carpe the Kingdom.

What does Carpe the Kingdom even mean? It means living a life that is not about you. What?! College is supposed to be all about me...making the grades to obtain a lucrative job, finding a hot wife, looking as fratty as possible... Those are not bad objectives, but carpe the kingdom is about much more. Carpe the Kingdom embraces that if we are in Christ then we are promised eternal life and we are going to live forever with part of our stay on earth and a much larger portion of eternity in Heaven. Let's start living life, realizing that Christ conquered death and if we are in him, death has lost its sting, meaning that it has no authority over us. We are not going to stay six feet under, but be elevated to live with Christ in Heaven forever after we breathe our last breath on this earth.

The opportunity before us is huge. We can make decisions on this earth that echo into eternity. The way we choose to love others, the way we invest our time, and ultimately the way we live out the Gospel are all things that are important to our creator and are things that we should be intentional about because they matter. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating that we all become monks and nuns and stay in Bible study all day. In fact, I think that if Jesus was in college today #1 he would be the biggest frat star of all time #2 he would go to a school in the Big 12 (sorry Nebraska...) #3 he would be the life of every party. Following Jesus in college should not make us dull, but we should be the most fascinating people in our communities, clothed with love, humility and compassion.

Be in college, embrace the freedom, take random road trips, put off your term paper until the last night and pull an all nighter, frat hard, make good grades, make better friends, but ultimately embrace the Kingdom. Jesus is calling us to bring His kingdom closer to our universities, roommates, families, teams and fraternity brothers and the only way to do that is to be more about loving God and loving others than ourself.

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are temporary but the things that are unseen are eternal. "

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Take the exit

After writing my post last night I dwelled on what I need to exit from and I did some uncomfortable pondering. I know that there are a good number of things that are keeping me from fulling running the race that Christ has set before, but taking the exit is so tough. At the end of my time at Pine Cove one of the challenges I was given was to "Stand firm and don't submit again to the yoke of slavery. Having been here (Pine Cove) for quite some time, from what or whom are you grateful to have separated yourself from? Whatever it is, stand firm from it.

Some of the things that I wrote down that night that I wanted to stand firm against were lust, hurtful sarcasm and coarse joking. Within being outside of camp for 72 hours I have failed in each of those areas. Why is it so easy to go back to tearing down my friends, not viewing women as God's workmanship or saying things just to get a few cheap laughs? One thing that I am realizing is that on my own strength I am never going to be able to exit. I might get to the access road, but ultimately I am going to end up in the exact same place I always do unless I lay down my pride and surrender my all to Jesus. That's tough and we can't do it without the support and accountability of a community of brothers or sisters in Christ.

I share this with you, because we have all been there, we have all fallen when we promised that last time was the last time and we have all gone back to something that we know is not life giving. It's tiring and depressing. There is hope. All authority on heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus. (mat. 28:18) Authority over my gross lust, rancid mouth and often deceitful heart. He has overcome death, Christ desperately wants to bear my burdens with me. The amazing thing about Jesus is that in the midst of my sin, in the midst of my off and on faithfulness, he still loves me just as I am, not as I should be. I share this with you, because Christ loves me in the midst of my brokenness and he loves you too. Be encouraged.